“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). James 3 tells us that people can tame any kind of beast. Careful training can make a dog loyally obedient. If a dog and a horse can be trained, surely a child can be. As an illustration, the first step in training a horse is teaching him to stop. When he learns to stop and go upon command, he can soon be trained in other areas. In translating this to family living, little children can be taught to go to bed or to be quiet. The child learns to obey without question or back talk. We should give these commands in a normal tone of voice. If we raise our voices, the children will be trained to respond to only that. We may need to have a number of training sessions for small children. You could begin by placing an object on a table or chair. When the child goes for it, you say, “No, don’t touch it.” He may only pause and look at you and then grab it. Gently slap his hand and say “no” at the same time. If it happens again, repeat the discipline. You may need to repeat this a number of times, but if you are consistent, the child will soon learn to obey.
When God wanted to train His first two human “children” (Adam and Eve) not to touch, he didn’t place the object out of reach (Genesis 3:3) but in their midst. This object was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:17). When they failed to obey God, they opened themselves to learn evil from the serpent, Satan. This Adamic nature has passed on to all of us. If we help our children when they are little, they will learn right from wrong. Then it will be much easier for them to choose good. If we do not take the needed time to teach our children to obey when they are young, we will spend a lot more time later trying to deal with the situation and often with adverse results. If we can train them to obey with joy when they are two years old, it will be so much easier when they are five or six or fifteen.
The story is told of a father who commanded his son not to touch a certain thing, but the boy didn’t obey. So the father said, “Give it to me.” Next he said, “Did you hear me? Hand it to Daddy.” (Of course he heard.) Then raising his voice he said, “Give it to Daddy now!” Then he raised his voice even more and said, “Am I going to have to spank you?” Next, Daddy kindly managed to get the object out of reach of the child. The child, however, had won the battle. He had learned that he didn’t have to obey the first, second, third, or even the fourth time. He also learned not to respect the authority of his father. This child was being taught to use anger and to be disobedient. His disobedient spirit will hinder him for life if not controlled, and it will eventually affect his eternal destiny.
A child does not automatically know what is good for him. He needs to learn what is proper to do. If we are concerned that our children grow up to serve God, we will see to it that they will obey, even eating food that may not taste the best or doing a task they think is not pleasant. Children are to us as clay in the hands of a potter, to be made into a vessel “fit for the Master’s use.” All the events of their daily lives are laying the foundation of knowledge from which they will make judgments about right and wrong. It is essential for us to read Bible stories to our children on a regular basis and explain the meaning of them. As the child Jesus grew in wisdom and knowledge, so should our children. A Bible writer commended a young man whose mother and grandmother had trained him well. “That from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).
We as parents, with God’s help, need to work toward the day when our children are grown and hopefully will be conformed unto “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13). We as parents are the windows through which our children understand God. A child that is disciplined to lovingly obey their earthly father will much more readily obey their heavenly Father.
Children need to be taught the Scriptures and the need for obedience to God. Teach them to love and respect the Scriptures. Have them memorize such beautiful, meaningful passages as the Lord’s Prayer, the Beatitudes, the Ten Commandments, Psalm 23, and the love chapter, First Corinthians 13.
The Bible gives the faithful parents promises for their children. The Proverbs writer promised, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Believers also have the promise from Jesus that, “if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:19).
-by Eli Yoder